I remember when I was 12 and got my first playboy and hid it under the bed... and then my mother took me to the art museum, and I wondered what the difference was. These French aristocrats, they just wanted to see naked women but the mythology gives it plausible deniablility.

So I put my car up on the median...and the airbag went off...so when the airbag goes off, it releases tis powder that smokes...and I know enough from american tv that when a car smokes, it's going to explode...however, on the passenger seat was my laptop, and I had an unsaved file....so I'm in a car I think is going to explode...and I'm saving a file....so all of this means that I had to buy a new car. By the way, my car didn't explode.

I'm making this up. But it sort of makes sense to what we're talking about.

The rest of you can cheer, except those of you contemplating a transfer to Trinity, who shall have to remain silent and contemplate your decision. Double majors with one in Trinity and one in Pratt can clap with one hand. Triple majors are probably too busy to clap at all.

The statistical likelihood of getting a decent 2-D parameter fit from an ill defined physical model given six data points is approximately the same of a BME finding a real job upon graduation.

Ask for fogiveness not for permission

I know you can show me a place in the book where it says something different. If you do, I'll spit on the book.

After nearly tripping over a book, You think that's funny? Go ahead and laugh. I suppose that if I cut off a finger that would be a laugh riot? Well, fuck all of you!

There is no plural of clitoris. You must be satisfied with one at a time.

When writing your final papers, don't use the information I gave you in your notes. I didn't really mean most of it; I just needed something to say.

I am hungover. What? You think you are the only ones who can have a good time?